Keep this story in mind.
A man tells his wife he's going to church. Couple hours later, he returns...with 2 black eyes. His wife, incredulous, asks him if he went to church, and how he got the shiners. He replied, yes, I did go to church. Sat in my normal place in the pew. Was behind a rather large woman, and as we stood to sing a hymn, I couldn't help but notice that her dress was, shall we say, captivated by her rather large bottom. So, being the gracious person that I am, I reached forward and pulled the dress free. His wife retorted; well that explains the one black eye, what about the other one? He said sheepishly, when I pulled the dress out of the crack, and she hit me, I figured she wanted it there, so I tucked it back in.