What is the difference between the Rolling Stones and a Scotsman?
The Stones sing a song that goes, "Hey you, get off of my cloud."
The Scotsman says, "Hey McCloud, get off of my ewe!"
Rolling Stones & The Scotsman
- DuncaninFrance
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which reminds me...........
"Wales is a place where men are men.........and sheep are nervous"
Duncan
What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? -- W.C. Fields
"Many of those who enjoy freedom know little of its price."
You can't fix Stupid, but you can occasionally head it off before it hurts something.
What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? -- W.C. Fields
"Many of those who enjoy freedom know little of its price."
You can't fix Stupid, but you can occasionally head it off before it hurts something.
- joseyclosey
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An Irishman an Englishman and a Scotsman were sitting in a bar. The view was fantastic, the beer excellent,
the food exceptional.
"Y'know" said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home. Why in Glasgow there's a little bar called McTavish's. Now the landlord there goes out of his way for the locals so much that when you buy 4 drinks he will buy the 5th drink for you."
"Well" said the Englishman, "At my local, the Red Lion, the barman there will buy you your 3rd drink after you buy the first 2."
"Ahhh that's nothin'" said the Irishman. "Back home in Dublin there's Murphy's Bar. Now the moment you set foot in the place they'll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like. Then when you've had enough drinks they'll take you upstairs and see that you get laid. All on the house."
The Englishman and Scotsman immediately pour scorn on the Irishman's claims. He swears every word is true.
“Well" asked the Englishman, "Did this actually happen to you?"
“Not meself, personally, no,” said the Irishman. "But it did happen to me sister on any number of occasions."
the food exceptional.
"Y'know" said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home. Why in Glasgow there's a little bar called McTavish's. Now the landlord there goes out of his way for the locals so much that when you buy 4 drinks he will buy the 5th drink for you."
"Well" said the Englishman, "At my local, the Red Lion, the barman there will buy you your 3rd drink after you buy the first 2."
"Ahhh that's nothin'" said the Irishman. "Back home in Dublin there's Murphy's Bar. Now the moment you set foot in the place they'll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like. Then when you've had enough drinks they'll take you upstairs and see that you get laid. All on the house."
The Englishman and Scotsman immediately pour scorn on the Irishman's claims. He swears every word is true.
“Well" asked the Englishman, "Did this actually happen to you?"
“Not meself, personally, no,” said the Irishman. "But it did happen to me sister on any number of occasions."